Ah to be....

To be a Catholic. Thank you God.

It's fun to sometimes stop and count your blessings. I did that tonight after griping about how someone at the Archdiocesan office keeps forgetting to put me on the Youth Minister e-mail list so I find out about the important professional events super late. I stopped right afterwards and realized....Thank God I even have the Archdiocese! I began to remember a conversation I had early on in September with a Lutheran YM about how she had no structure, she didn't know what to teach, she didn't have any support from a larger organization, there was no organization, etc etc... To top it off they had just gotten a new pastor and were beginning to re-evaluate what they believed as a church and how they worshipped.

I could not imagine what it would be like to try to do this job without the structure, tradition, magisterium, and 2000 years of unchanged truth that this Church holds. Thank God for the Catholic Church. Thank you God for blessing me with this faith to begin with. Yay God! Yay Parents! Yay Catholic School teachers who did things right!

If you're Catholic, celebrate. There's a lot to be greatful for and lots of richness to share with our separated (hopefully for not too long) brethren.

Holy Days

Merry Christmas!
Happy Feast day of the Holy Family!
Happy New Year/Feast of Mary the Mother of God
and Happy Feast of the Holy Name of Jesus.
....so many awesome Holy Days packed into such a short amount of time.

Some highlights of last week....

-seeing Kia and Jacob
-seeing my Great Aunt
-having Jon come up and spend time with my family during the Holidays
-Accidentally stumbling upon the Archbishop's Mass at the Holy Rosary Cathedral for Pro-Life intentions on the feast of the Holy Innocents
-receiving the Eucharist kneeling down at Mass
-going to vespers and adoration at 11:00 on New Year's Eve
-listening to an Ave Maria/ Still Still Still remix by the awesome choir at St. Luke's at Midnight Mass
-shopping with mom
-watching Dad open his presents
-showing Jon random bits of Vancouver like Robson St. and Ikea
-having friends over for my "Party for Jesus" at my apartment

So much Joy it's hard to believe.
Speaking of Joy, I came to really enjoy something amazing today at daily Mass. I had no idea when I walked upstairs to daily mass today at work that it was the feast day of the Holy Name of Jesus. I suppose I didn't really understand what the feast day was for. But as I waited for Fr. Matthew to get ready to say Mass I read the little blurb in my Magnificat for January and it made some amazing connections in my brain very quickly. I love when that happens. It feels the same way when I do lectio divina....like the Lord is whispering something just for you and then smiling at you saying "you got it! Good!" Well maybe it will happen for you if you read it too. I might be breaking some copyright law or something....but it's okay if I attribute it to Magnificat magazine right? ....

The Lord Jesus promised, "Whatever you ask in my name, I will do" (Jn 14:13). For "the name 'Jesus' contains all... His name is the only one that contains the presence it signifies" (CCC 2666). "You have had yourselves washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Cor 6:11). For there is no "other name under heaven given to the human race by which we are to be saved" (Acts 4:12). This memorial (p.55) provides us the chance to live with special attentiveness before the Holy Name. "If you think the name 'Jesus' continually, it purges your sin and kindles your heart; it clarifies your soul, it removes anger and does away with slowness. It wounds in love and fulfills charity. It chases the devil and puts out dread. It opens heaven and makes you a contemplative. It puts all vices and phantoms out from the lover" (Richard Rolle)

This blurb in the Magnificat about the Wednesday before Epiphany had such a huge effect on me this morning. I decided after finishing it that I'd try thinking 'Jesus' over and over continuously. I think I've done it before, or continuously thought something like "Jesus Christ Son of the Living God have mercy on me a sinner", but God must have given me some extra graces this morning (Thanks for fasting Jon and E5 guys!) to help me understand some things. For some reason thinking 'Jesus' over and over magnified the readings and made things come alive this morning. It was like breathing Holy Spirit filled air or something.

As I approached in the line to receive the Eucharist I heard a friend of mine sigh a huge sigh while in line that implied a sentiment of awe and excitement to receive the Eucharist. It was almost a sigh that said in itself "incredible". At that moment I thought..."how true. It's so difficult to really believe that Jesus is that piece of bread, yet when you believe it...how amazing! How incredible that our Lord loves us that much." I was overwhelmed with this burst of faith and gratitude to Our Lord for loving us so simply, with such complexity, and with an unfailing desire for us. It brought confidence and faith to other loves that I'm greatful for and sometimes can't believe I've been graced with..... All in all a wonderful day of simple graces found merely in repeating the name that contains all. The name that contains the presence it signifies. What profound words.

That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those that are in heaven, on earth, and under the earth:And that every tongue should confess that the Lord Jesus Christ is in the glory of God the Father. - Philippians 2:10-11

Coolest thing....

The Archbishop is asking everyone to fast on Wednesdays during Advent for peace. I got a text message from one of my youth today saying "Val it's (teen name here). if ur fasting can u have bread?" !!! Yay!!! My teens are observing the fast requested by the Archbishop!! Well, at least one of them is! Ehem....these teens are so cool. Thanks for the rad job God.

Sleep patterns....

I don't know if any of you are used to experiencing sleep interruptions, but lately they seem to be coming on a lot for me. The last week or so I've been waking up at 6:30am for no reason. I can't figure it out, I mean it's not like I'm going to sleep early. Right at the beginning of the advent season I made a comment to Jon about needing to up my prayer life and getting up super early to say my morning office. I wonder if this is God's way of saying "yeah do that!"

Things are going to get really busy really quick. Two big meetings this week, an RCIA function on Wednesday, Advent dinner and guest speaker Friday, Jon's graduation on Saturday and the last life night before Christmas break on Sunday. That should be really neat. We're going to do Eucharistic Adoration and have a talk on putting Christ back into Christmas.

Yikes!
Next week is more of the same. A trip to see the Dead Sea Scrolls at the Pac. Sci., the Lights of Christmas, Parish Christmas Party, Soup Kitchen and Youth Group Christmas Party, then My Christmas Party. Crazy stuff. Going home is going to be so nice. I can't wait to go home to the parents and pretend I'm a kid that needs taking care of again. No more of this independant solitary adult stuff. Too much work.

Tomorrow is the feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, Patroness of the Americas and the Unborn.


Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us.

UIOGD.

Pie

So here's a tip, if you're baking a pie. Don't use frozen fruit. Or if you do make sure you defrost and drain as much as humanly possible, 'cuz if not your pie will come out like fruit soup with some crust bits in it. Oh the joys of trial and error. Anyone want some Strawberry Soup?

Anywhoo.....I went and saw the Nativity Story with my youth group on Friday. A definite must see for the HOLY - Days.... I echo Bryan Ochs' views on the movie. They did a really great job of building the relationship of Mary and Joseph in the movie. My favorite scene....trying to find room in Bethlehem. I did have teeny little beefs with Mary's behavior in one scene, but hey, it's Hollywood, this is as good as it's going to get right now. Let's just pray for more awesome Catholic films to come out. Personally I think they need to make a movie about Padre Pio. How cool would that be? I mean how many other people that have lived in the last century do we know that have had stigmata, bilocation, and the odor of sanctity? Wait, did he levitate too? Hmm...looks like I'm going on a tangent.

This week's topic for the high school kids.....Original Sin and Suffering. Such a cool topic. Happy 2nd week of Advent!

Fern and Bamboo

My mom forwarded this to me. Of course we biologists know that bamboo doesn't grow naturally in this biogeoclimatic zone, but just imagine you're in asia and everything should reconcile in your head. Anyways...

This is a good message for this time of year when people forget about God and sink into despair and depression.

God Bless your Advent, that it might be joyful and fruitful.

The Fern and the Bamboo

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality.... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer surprised me.
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.
The same in year four.
Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle. Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.
Don't compare yourself to others." He said.
"The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful. Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest, realizing that God will never give up on me. And He will never give up on you.

Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life.

Weirdo dream.

Okay so I had a freaky weird dream last night.
I had a dream that my computer screen blacked out and came back with a staticky interview with Satan. I kept trying to turn the computer off, but it wouldn't shut down and I couldn't get Satan off my computer screen.

Then the scene switched (my dreams are like movies) and I was standing outside of some building with my 3 best friends. Well, best friends in my dream. I have no idea who these people are, all I know is that in my dream we were good friends and they were really holy. All of a sudden Satan drove up in a really nice car. He looked really futuristic. He had a gun with him. He walked up to my friends and I and pointed the gun at my friend. We all started praying really hard, I don't think we were praying out loud, but I was praying and I knew my friends were. He pulled the trigger and the gun clicked but didn't fire. He pointed it again at another friend and it didn't fire either. He looked irritated and said "you're concentrating too hard". Then he pointed the gun at my head and smiled. I remember being terrified thinking "oh crap, what if I'm not praying hard enough". Then he pulled the trigger, but my dream ended. I don't know what happened.

Weird.
I wonder if God is trying to tell me something....

Well here's a little video to start off Advent. I'm not usually a fan of this song, but this version isn't too terrible. I just wanted an Advent video to put up. This is part of the first reading from the 1st Sunday of Advent 2006.

Oh don't forget to go to mass this Friday everyone. It's the feast of the Immaculate Conception. Yep that's Mary's conception, not Jesus'. Happy Holy Day!

Poverty. in America

When I was in Calcutta the Missionaries of Charity always referred to Mother Teresa saying something about there being great poverty in America that cannot merely be fixed by giving people food. It is loneliness, people being neglected, people not giving compassion to others and caring for each other. A much deeper hunger that is much more difficult to fill when it is caused.

My friend (who will someday, I believe, be a Missionary of Charity) told me when we're judged at the end of our life we're judged on "how we responded to Christ's need for us in the poor". I believe that these poor extend to more than just the hungry and the dying and those poor that Mother Teresa talks about in America. It extends to those who have been cheated and hurt; those who have this marred vision of what God is like and what the Church is like.

To be completely honest, it breaks my heart more to see how people have been hurt by vessels of the Church (teachers, priests, religious, anyone who represents the Catholic Church and extends herself to the members of her body) than it is to see people starving and dying every day. What a challenge it must be to be a priest and see this every day and know that it is your duty to love and bring spiritual health back to these people. What a mission of Christian love, of charity we have in front of us!

UIOGD

Snowww!!!!!

There's snow. There's a lot of snow!

Yesterday Jon brought me home from Sammamish. I spent the whole Thanksgiving weekend with him and his family, and it was awesome. We had a great thanksgiving meal, went to check out old town Snohomish and all the antique shops the day after Thanksgiving, went swimming with Jon, went to see a few movies (don't see "The Fountain", do see "Deja Vu"), spent some time relaxing, and did a little shopping for the family at Fry's. All in all a very cool weekend. Since Canada has a different Thanksgiving, it didn't matter to my family that I wasn't home. We already had ours! My sister was in Costa Rica anyways, so my parents were babysitting the munchkins.

Anywhoo....yesterday we were in the car leaving Sammamish and it was raining a little, then it started raining harder, and by the time we got around Everett it looked like Blizzard conditions. There were cars in the ditch left and right between I-5 and the highway to my parish. Most of them were SUVs. So sad. While I was practicing music in the Church (since our Choir Director and entire Choir were trapped at home from the snow) Jon was putting chains on the car. We went to mass with about 12 people and then made our way out to the Mexican restaurant for dinner, where surprizingly there were tons of people. Weird.

When we left the restaurant the roads looked like they'd been plowed a little, so getting back to my house on the island wasn't a problem. My apartment however, had no power. Ack! Good thing I had some candles and one of those nifty-no-batteries-needed-flashlights. Jon ended up leaving, thinking that the roads would be totally fine, around 9pm. Thank God he made it home okay amidst the nastiness of I-5. My apartment didn't have power all night.

Amazingly, my coworkers got to my apartment in the morning to pick me up for work this morning. But when we got to the church it didn't have power either!! It came back on around 11:00am. We left work early because it was still snowing and we wanted to be able to get home. I took some firewood from the padres rectory in case the power hadn't come back on yet at my basement apt. Thank God, when I got home the power was on and running. Still running, though it went out for about a second an hour a go. Let's hope that doesn't happen again.

I think it's still snowing......I don't think I'm making it in to work tomorrow. It's absolutely beautiful outside. I hope the power stays on....... Hope you're all safe and warm!!!

Last weekend

I had a fabulous weekend. It was Jon's 24th birthday last Wednesday so I decided to do a little surprizing. So Friday we went to Lonsdale Quay and hung out there for a bit, wandered around shops, ate a Beaver tail (you Americans know them as Elephant Ears), bought some tea, tried some fudge, checked out the view of Vancouver. Then off a little further north, we had a little bit of time to kill so we went to the Fish Hatchery....ha ha! I know, but the river was cool, and we saw a few fish swimming around. But the final destination of the night....tada!!
Surprize dinner at the Observatory on Grouse Mountain!
We got up to Grouse Mountain 3 hours early and wandered around in the Snow a bit, saw the Grizzly Bears in the sanctuary up there, played chess in the chalet, Watched a short film in their Theatre in the Sky and had an amazing dinner at their Observatory fine dining restaurant.

After dinner we headed to Prospect Point at Stanley Park and were lucky enough to catch a bit of dry sky to appreciate the fabulous view of the Lions Gate Bridge and North and West Vancouver. Only one scary thing about this....we were stalked by racoons. I don't know if these were the rabid racoons that you're warned about in the signs around Stanley Park, but they sure were friendly/scary. They came right up to the car when we pulled into the parking space and were sitting right beside the car door looking at me through my window making their racoon noises. We sat in the car not knowing what to do for a few minutes, freaked out 'cuz they could be rabid. They left when another car came. We got out and wandered over to the lookout and they snuck up on us again, and another time after that! Freaky!!! So anyways, after catching some awesome views, eating the best food ever, and being chased around by animals we called it a night.

It's been so long...

It's been a long time since I updated this blog. I've been really busy constantly updating the Youth Group one, but I thought this was worthy of a blog...as of 2 Thursdays ago (October 19th) I officially got my driver's license!! Woohoo!! I can drive now! Too bad I don't have that car yet. Ack! Soon, please God, soon!!! Yep, so watch out people, I'm on the road now and if Jon doesn't give me any more lessons on stick then you'll know I'm coming by the screeching and grinding of the clutch whenever I get this car :) Ha ha ha!! In other news, yesterday Jon and I had our 3 month anniversary. Yes I know, I'm a dork for counting the months like that, but whatever. Crazy how quickly 3 months can go by. It's so weird to think about what life will be like a year from now.

Last Friday Jon and I went to Fright Night at Playland. I don't know what it is that's so scary, but I was screaming all over the place. There were lots of Playland employees walking around in costume and in black and a couple of them thought it would be fun to sneak up behind me and start growling or just shout at me, so naturally I screamed. Let's just say my voice was pretty hoarse at the end of the night. We went to get some of the best Chinese food in Vancouver afterwards and got home way late, but it was a lot of fun.

Tomorrow for Halloween I'll be trick-or-treating with Jon and some people from the Parish. That should be lots of fun, I haven't done that since I was in 9th or 10th grade I think. This will be really funny, especially when we get to other parishoner's houses. Ha ha ha! Just in case they weren't worried enough that they hired an immature little girl, I'm going to go trick-or-treating. I had a crazy idea the other day that I should make up some flyers for the Church or something to hand out while I was trick-or-treating. I might try to make those up tomorrow, that could be really cool. We'll see what happens. I'll talk to Father about the idea.

Video

Why am I Catholic?

This is such a cool video. Definite throwbacks to World Youth Day 2005 in Cologne. Here's to the WYD Crew.

Drama Queen

I must apologize, that was a bit drama queen in that last post there. Like Jon says, I need to let stuff go and not let it bother me. Like in the Bible quote that I put up....I don't need to worry. Christ's got it. I think I need to remind myself of Calcutta in times like those. Not to compare sorrows, but to remember how uplifting that place was in the midst of Chaos.

Anyways, I had a fabulous thanksgiving. Jon and I went to the Abbey for 6:30am mass and got to spend some quality time with Fr. Abbot. I was telling him a little bit about my new job and got to ask him some questions about things I didn't really understand and hadn't ever been exposed to. The Seattle Archdiocese sure is exciting....But anyways, it was really cool to be able to talk to him with Jon. I think I was more nervous bringing Jon to see him than I was to my own parents, of course my parents had met Jon before under different circumstances, so it was different. In any case it was a lovely visit.

We ate a lot of ...well let's face it, I was at home. We ate a lot of everything. My aunts and uncles came over with the kids. I got to spend lots of quality time with the niece and nephew.

Sunday before that, the life night was awesome. The teens seemed to really be getting into it. We had so much stuff to cover we had to cut it short and we'll be continuing on this Sunday. The next XLT is also coming up, excited for that. The feedback from some of the teens....great stuff, but they want some silence! That's awesome! Teens want silence, it's so much of what they need too.

I put up another blog so they can look back at the topics we've covered in the past weeks. So far I've only got up last Sunday's stuff, but there's more to come.

UIOGD

Sparring match....

"Blessings 1, 2, and 3, meet Frustrations 1, 2, and 3.....
bow to your opponent
let the fight begin."

For some reason, good happenings and bad happenings just can't seem to get along together in my life so they come in waves. Good things in threes, bad things in threes. This week's last layer of bad things just iced the cake. I thought....after 7 long years of not having a license for various reasons I'd be able to take my scheduled road test today and be done with it. My dad drove down from Canada in my sister's car, picked me up from work, we went to the DOL, the examiner started checking my stop response, hand signals, signal lights, break lights......yep. STUPID RIGHT REAR BREAK LIGHT WAS OUT!!!!!!! ARGH! BAH! Lame. I had to reschedule for two weeks from now (earliest slot open). How many times have I been to this DOL since I moved down here? This is the fourth...let's hope the fifth time is the last time I'll have to see that place for a long time. On top of that, some miscommunication put a wrench in getting the car this month. So it's not going to happen until November now. I would mention the other frustration, but that's of a confidential nature, so sorry, but I can't tell you all everything that happens in my life :)

You want to know why it's all happening in the same week? I think I figured it out. This Sunday's Life Night is on the Mass and the Eucharist. What better time to put the Youth Minister in a crappy mood, but the one week that we're talking about the single most important part of the Catholic Faith right? You suck Satan. Sunday is going to rock. These teens are going to love Jesus. You lose in the end devil. Grrr..... Kick his butt guardian angel!

UIOGD

Taize and Cars

Kyrie, Kyrie eleison
Kyrie, Kyrie eleison

Ubi caritas, et amor
Ubi caritas, Deus ibi est

The Lord is my light, my light and salvation,
in God I trust, in God I trust

Stay with me, remain here with me,
watch and pray
watch and pray


I get to take the group to Taize on Friday. Kinda excited! I haven't been to the Cathedral for Taize in a really long time.

Tomorrow is my road test. Dear God please let me pass. Please, please, please. It's time for me to get my license. I just hope I can finally get this car too.....

UIOGD
Prayers please.

1st Life Night

For those of you wondering...our first Life Night was great! Now the problem is...how the heck am I going to follow that up?! Ack?! Well, I've got this week all planned out. With the High School we're talking about the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church and how blessed we are to be Catholics. The middle school is going to delve into who they are and why they're worth more than just their image. Should be good. I was so surprized that they were actually interacting and listening and not falling asleep last week. It was cool. Apparently, my being young has something to do with keeping teens attention. Anywhoo, they're a fabulous bunch and I haven't passed out from nervousness so far. So things are good! Thank God! I set up and appointment to get the car next week. Now I've just got to pass my test tomorrow. I hope I can actually take the road test tomorrow, I hope it's not raining!!! yikes! I'm supposed to learn how to drive a stick shift.......oh geez. This is going to be funny, if not dangerous! Watch out drivers, here comes Val.

UIOGD.

I love this...

Matthew 6:25-34

25
16 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
26
Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?
27
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? 17
28
Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.
29
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.
30
18 If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
31
So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'
32
All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
33
But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, 19 and all these things will be given you besides.
34
Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.

God provides!!!

Okay, time to take a break from the madness. So this Sunday coming up is my first Youth Group night. CRAZY!! It also just so happens that I have a bazillion meetings this week, but it's cool. No sweat. I've got God. I mean honestly check this out...

Here's just a little more evidence of God being incredible in my life.

So I've been needing a car for the last month or so. It's been kinda crazy asking for rides when I'm in a job like this. So my super sweet/angelic/replacement grandma of a landlady and her nice friends have been praying really hard that someone will just give me a car. So anyways....about two weeks ago my priest/boss tells me that some woman wanted to talk to me about the car ad that was in our Church bulletin. So I called her and we played phone tag back and forth for a bit. I finally got a chance to talk to her on Sunday and here's what the conversation went like:

Lady x "So what exactly are you looking for?"

me "something within my price range, no more than $3000 and something that I can drive, not a stick shift."

Lady x "Oh well, this is a stick."

me "Oh that's okay, thanks for calling me anyways"

Lady x "well wait just a sec, will you listen to what I have to tell you first?"

me "sure of course."

Lady x "It's a 1995 volkswagen jetta, 111 000 miles, it just got a tune up, it runs great, just a broken windshield washer motor, which will probably cost around $400 to fix."

me "Sounds like a good car, what are you asking for it?"

Lady x "well that's the thing, I was going to give it to you."

Yeah....pretty much. So God found me a car. I'm just going to have to learn stick shift now. But seriously, how awesome is that? Yeesh! Honestly, I'm constantly humbled, because there's no way I deserve to be blessed like this. God is so amazing. So here I am, I'm working for the Church. God provided me with a fabulous place to live an hour before I left for St. Walburga's which was exactly what I could afford at the time. He's given me an amazing working environment full of generous God-fearing and really lovable people, I have found the love of my life, and now I have a free car. Seriously? I must be dreaming. I'd better keep praying because this is just ridiculous. Anywhoo, thought I'd share that story with you. Any prayers for my youth group which is starting up this week would be greatly appreciated. Looks like it's going to be a fabulous year. Lots of apologetics and lots of fun!

UIOGD

The weekend...dun,dun,dun.....

Okay....so this weekend I get to meet the parents....the three brothers.......and some other friends of the family. Yikes!!! Actually, it should be a pretty awesome weekend starting Thursday night. My family is going to be down here for birthday dinner with Dad and my old roommie Annie and Jon are coming for dinner. Friday we're going to do some praying down at the abortion clinic as well as scope out some cars that I could possibly buy before skipping off to my friend's Muslim wedding in Oly. Saturday will be a fun filled day of amusement parks, nerve wracking family dinner's at the boyfriend's house and gameworks.

Thank God for Sunday being a day of rest.

Funny, someone made a comment on the last blog saying that my story was like "The Notebook". I have no idea what that movie was about, but I'm assuming it had some drama in it, or else it wouldn't have made a good movie. Hopefully all the drama with discernment is over. So this may turn into the most boring blog ever, but we'll see. The spiritual life shouldn't ever get boring. I guess this blog won't be so much focusing on discernment anymore 'cuz I'm pretty much done with that, but I can always seek to improve my spiritual life. Speaking of which...I need to get back into the habit of daily lectio divina and look up how to be an Oblate :) Still love those Benedictines. Ooh I just found out too that my new boss/PAFF at my parish is a Benedictine fan as well. Man, God just goes alll out sometimes. I don't get it, definately not worthy, but hecka thankful!

UIOGD

Okay.....

'How my life changed directions in the last month....condensed.

To those of you who were praying for my vocation....Thank you. Things have taken a crazy turn in the last month. So here's what really happened at St. Walburga's......

Getting there was nuts. My plane got pulled off the runway twice. We boarded the plane late and we were sitting at the gate at Seatac for around 20 minutes when I started thinking "Okay, I'm nervous as all heck, but it's going to be a great week. The only thing the devil can do now to stop me from having a great experience at St. Walburga's is break the plane." This was about 5 minutes before we started taxiing down the runway. We stopped halfway down the runway because the pilot said there was a warning light on the dash and they didn't know what it was for. At this point I'm saying to myself "No way! Stupid me, I had to go and invite him to break the plane". So we went back to the gate and waited for around 30 minutes. At this point the pilot says, "There's good news and bad news folks. The bad news is that we still don't know what's wrong with the plane. This is a new plane and it shouldn't be having any problems. It could possibly take a very long time to fix. The good news is that we're getting a new plane." Yikes. So we got off the plane, they transferred the luggage, they reassigned some seats because it was a different type of plane and we boarded again 2.5 hours after our flight was scheduled to leave.
We're sitting on the plane and at this point I'm confident that we're going to get off the ground and I'm on my way to Colorado. We started taxiing down the runway and we stopped. The pilot comes on again and says "You won't believe this folks, but we need to taxi back in. Alaska Airlines needs to do another head count. There was some sort of mixup with boarding." So we went back in. 4 hours after our original flight time we take off. Third time's a charm....or a blessing 'cuz we're Catholic. I got into Denver International at around 7 and to Fort Collins on the Shuttle just before 9pm. At this point I can't make it to the Abbey because it'd be another hour and a half drive and the sisters would be asleep. So I was fortunate enough to stay with two wonderful Benedictine oblates. David and Laura. Something really got me excited when they told me about the life of an oblate. David (aka Br. Boniface) was so cool. He's an environmental scientist :) I mean you can't get any cooler than that. A Benedictine and an environmentalist? Awesome.

I got to the Abbey the next day on Sunday and basically spent the day by myself in prayer because the sisters rest a lot on Sundays. That first day was really difficult. I kept wondering "what the heck am I doing here?" It was really strange. I had a terrible nightmare that first night too. I woke up several times only to return to the nightmare when I fell back asleep. I prayed so hard that night that God might grant me the grace to discern that week without distraction. The next morning at mass God answered my prayers. With the processional hymn that morning, I felt such a sense of peace about the week. I had a great time working with the sisters, pitching hay, collecting eggs, herding cows, cleaning etc. Practicing lectio divina was really fruitful. I loved chanting the divine office with the sisters. I didn't even mind getting up at 4:20 in the morning. The whole time at St. Walburga's was peaceful...but in some way not completely fulfilling. I kept on thinking to myself, "I could do this. I could enter and just learn to be at peace with this for the rest of my life....but I don't know that I would really be fulfilled. There's something missing." I wasn't really sure what that was. I had a few ideas....but I wasn't completely sure. So I prayed, and I prayed, and prayed some more. God started showing me some things. He kept on bringing someone into my prayers and showing me passages of scripture that would only remind me of one person. My best friend Jon.
When I got back, I told Jon everything that happened that week while we were in the car on the way back up from Seatac. I told him I was really confused and that I wanted to speak to my spiritual director about everything. He said he didn't want to say anything to me until I had spoken to my spiritual director. So I went to my spiritual director the day after I got back and he suggested that I take some time away from Jon and discern this friendship. So I took some time away, after 2 weeks I didn't really have any doubts and what I was hearing in prayer was pretty clear.....

Jon and I talked and ended up starting our relationship in front of the Blessed Sacrament on July 28th. I can't believe what the Lord has done. This relationship is so amazing, and the best part is that it's Christ centered. I'm constantly in awe of God since my relationship with Jon started and I feel like I'm being drawn closer to Christ constantly because of it. It's really like that "Be Satisfied" thing that St. Anthony wrote. When you tell God you're ready to do whatever he asks, He blesses you with happiness you could never have imagined.