FOCCUS

Ah it's been a while since I've blogged. So here's the update recently.

June - engagement party
July - engaged encounter and 1 year anniversary.
August - FOCCUS inventory.

So far we've discovered that we're okay and we can still get married. Phew!!

Engaged encounter was pretty good. The format was basically:

• hear a talk from a married couple on some issue like Unity in Marriage, or Finances in Marriage, or Children etc.
• Then journal on a bunch of questions relating to the talk separate from your "potential spousal unit" as they call them
• get back together and read your P.S.U.'s response and then talk about it.

It was a neat process. All in all, Jon and I had talked about.... oh 95% of the stuff brought up. It wasn't all new. But I did discover a lot about myself. It was also a good examination of the way I show love and go about loving in a self-sacrificial way. I think that was more of the spin Jon and I took on it anyways, becuase most of the material wasn't incredibly Catholic.
It wasn't anti-Catholic, I'd just say it was a little vague. The whole weekend was kind of a strange attempt at ecumenism at a Catholic Engaged Encounter, yet still fruitful for us and definitely worth going to. Especially after the bethrothal pledge part! So cool, but I won't ruin the surprise for those of you who don't know what it is. It's just darned cool. At least Jon's pledge to me was amazing. For those of you who have had the pleasure of reading his poetry/writing you can probably imagine what this would be like.

Hmm....as for the other stuff. The engagement party was hilarious. If you have "friended" me on facebook you may have seen some strange pictures from the games we played at the party. It was also really cool to have western people, friends from home, my family, and Jon's family all there having fun and eating, as Jess put it, enough food to feed a small African nation, as is Filipino custom.

We took the FOCCUS test this weekend.
If you're wondering what that is you can google it.
I was a little apprehensive about taking it at first because it sounded like a compatibility test.
(It gave me the feeling that if we passed this test we should get married, and if we didn't then we shouldn't, black and white, tough beans, try again later. Ick!)
And while it sort of is a test like that, it's really just an inventory to make sure that you've talked about various things that a couple should talk about before getting married. It shows you how much your agreement as a couple on certain issues agrees with the ideal Christian marriage.

For instance one of the questions might be "I am concerned that abusive relationships in the past will affect my role as a husband/wife" and then you check agree, disagree, or undecided.

There are certain topics like financial issues, family of origin, personality, communication, views on sex etc. So you take the inventory. Someone scores it, it was the PAFF at MQP that did ours, and then you get back together with the scorer and discuss the places where you disagreed with each other, and the places where you disagreed with the test's preferred answers (basically the preferred answer is the answer that you'd want if you were in a well functioning Catholic relationship) .

Well we scored very well. I think the test scorer even seemed a little surprized at how well we did, so things are cool. No more test anxiety. And again, even though I doubted and was a little anxious it was fruitful and well worth it. As it turns out, there are also a few things we discovered that we haven't discussed in detail. So, yeah, cool.
I think it would be great if all couples discerning marriage had to take that inventory to make sure that they've talked about all that stuff. Though, I wonder if that's what happens during regular marriage prep anyways. It's interesting how this stuff works.

Anyways, today is the Feast of the Transfiguration of our Lord. I hope you are having a wonderful summer and for those of you who take "vacay" during this time I hope you are being renewed and transformed so you're up and raring to go spread some more good news once the fall hits. I feel like it's Advent or Lent with all this preparation and anticipation. God is so cool.

UIOGD

This makes.....

a. Me sad
b. My blood pressure rise
c. Want to pray for the soul of Joan Chittister

Look at this horrendous article

If you haven't been caught up on the news here it is. You have to read the entire thing before you can comment intelligently.

From the US Bishops on Benedict's Motu Proprio

From EWTN on the statement from the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith

The Actual Document recently released from the CDF from the Vatican

the problem with mantillas

okay so the spanish mantilla,
super cool. But does it work if you pull it forward to have a blusher as well? Take a look
http://www.weddingveil.com/veils2/content/show_xlarge_photos.php?id=20602

Yay!!!!!

update!!
We have a priest!!! Yay!!! We've been praying that he would say yes and thank God, he's answered our prayers!!!
Fr. Abbot John Braganza
of
Westminster Abbey in Mission, BC
will be officiating our wedding!



That's him showing off the bells in the huge bell tower. So excited!!! Yay!

Also, Arizona was great. It was nice to get away into the hot sun for a while and be refreshed with a kick in the butt for my ministry. At the end of the year it's easy to start feeling burned out, or allowing yourself to feel that way, or even slipping into the "good enough" mentality. This conference did a nice jumpstart to get me back into the mentality I had when I started the job. With God using me as his instrument my job is to lead teens closer to Him! It's a relief to have a savior! It's a relief to remember that the ministry isn't about me, it's about God. It was a refreshment to remember how exciting it can be to work on the front lines!! Good conference, not without things to improve on.....but nonetheless, in retrospect, I've deemed it a worthwhile for me.

Long time again..

I know, I'm a slacker. But I'll use wedding planning and work as an excuse again. It seems like the last month and a half has just swept by, but not without being productive. So far we've got

the Church booked. St. Edmund's in North Vancouver

The hall basically booked.

Click here for the virtual tour

The honeymoon booked....

...at the Secrets Excellence Riviera Cancun

I have a dress.

But I can't put up a picture because then Jon will know what it looks like.

It's a Maggie Sottero and I got it at Alicia's Bridal in Bellingham.

Send me a message if you want to see it :)

We have a guest list.

Around 150 people

We've started thinking about what to put on the invitations etc...They should be pretty cool looking.

So we're doing alright. We even had some time to go on a few amusement park rides last weekend. Unfortunately I went on a few too many spinny rides and got a little bit dizzy.....

Anywhoo, God is making things work out and is helping us grow closer and I think has helped me with patience a little bit. If not I must be too busy to notice :)

My new favorite thing, listening to Jon read "Light and Peace" by Quadrupani.

Engaged!!! The story....

Yep that's right! Engaged!!! Woohoo!! God is so good.

April 14th - Saturday in the Octave of Easter.

Okay so I can't say I was completely suprized, but it was still a surprize. Let's just say Jon's been really secretive, but I like to speculate. We were planning out what to do for the weekend and Jon seemed unusually insistent that we go to adoration in the morning rather than in the afternoon when it worked better. So I said, okay we can go to daily mass and then adoration afterwards on Saturday morning. (at this point I was a tad suspicious).

We went to daily mass, then we thought that the sanctuary would empty out a bit so we could say the rosary in front of the tabernacle, but there was a whole bunch of old ladies in the church that started the rosary so we stayed and prayed with them, then we prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet.

After that we left the church. While we were walking towards the car I thought, "Oh well, I guess it won't be today." Because I thought he would propose in the sanctuary. So we got to the car and he opened the door for me and on the seat was a teddy bear with the words "Marry Me" on the stomach. I believe I said something like "How did that get there? That wasn't there before we left for mass." Then I turned around and Jon got down on one knee and said something like... "It's become apparent to me that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that you are the one with whom I want to walk to Christ. Val will you marry me?" And...no I did not cry. But I was really really excited, and of course I said, "Yes!!"

As it turns out, my mom was in on the whole thing. He gave my mom a key to his car and she brought the teddy bear while we were inside at Mass. She also had all my aunts and uncles and Joy and Peter come over for lunch as a surprise to all of them. Joy and Peter's reactions were great! And ladies, here's the picture of the ring. Jon did a good job :)
Jon and I and the "Marry Me" bear.



Yay!! Engaged!!! This is so surreal.

I miss....

I just read the bio for my friend Tyler's band "SaidtheWhale". Absolute genius. My friend Hamish wrote it. It brought back my fondest memories of Evans Lake. Laying on the field watching stars and the northern lights listening to Pink Floyd's "Dark side of the Moon". Going on midnight excursions around the lake to the muskrat rock. I really feel like I've been smacked in the face by nostaligia. Missing so many things and people. Evans Lake, high school, Bellingham, Friends. Oh to return..
I wonder if when we get to heaven and are outside of time with our Lord we'll be allowed to experience the joy which he graced upon us in those exsquisite moments of our lives. I suppose being in the presence of God can be the most exquisite experience inside and outside of time.

Bouncing from grace to grace

abandoning everything for heaven

for every taste of heaven on this earth

Longing for the one exquisite

moment of eternity

with my God

Jesus Christ

Lover of the world.

It's been a pretty cool lent. Very different in character than last year, with different trials, but thankfully still fruitful. Last year seemed to be a struggle to get the spiritual car started whereas this year putting on the brakes was incredibly difficult. I definately got some great chunks of scripture that hit me at just the right angle on some days like Philippians 3:12-14

Some wonderful opportunities for spiritual direction, a few bites of lectio divina, incredible experiences serving and teaching my teens, learning the hard way, patience building.

Dei gratias.

Have a blessed Holy Week.

Core meeting

I was chatting with one of my core members yesterday after our monthly meeting and since we've been studying TOB with the teens he wanted to share this thought about the Fall of Man. He basically said, when thinking about the fall he came to the realization that, before Original Sin entered in, everything that Adam and Eve did glorified God. Every moment of their existence gave glory to God. Whether it be naming an animal, walking around, or eating. Their whole existence lived out Ut in omnibus glorificetur Deus. That phrase which I so nonchalantly have as my signature on all of my e-mails. This was what we were meant for before our sin ruined us. Anyways, it was one of those moments where a familiar phrase or concept does the 12 inch drop from your head to your heart. He said that after coming to that realization he then began to examine his daily life. He began to think what percentage of his day did he give glory to God? How much of the day do we fail in this, our primary vocation? To love and live in Love ...Deus Caritas Est? It was one of those moments where your soul and mind collide and you realize that you were meant for God and that doing anything that didn't glorify Him was just fluff or dangerous. Ah Lent. What a wonderful time of self examination. Sorry God, thanks for the patience.

I hope I can shape up and make this Lent as fruitful as last year. I'm in such different circumstances. Total spin from....on my way to visit a convent and see if Benedictine cloistered life is for me.....to.......working in the Church with youth and trying to make time to pray and see my boyfriend. But, as St. Teresa of Avila says.......
Let nothing disturb thee,
Nothing affright thee;
All things are passing;
God never changeth;
Patient endurance
Attaineth to all things;
Who God possesseth
In nothing is wanting;
Alone God sufficeth.

Just thought I'd share that 12-inch drop moment with all of you. Hope you're all having fruitful Lenten time. UIOGD :)

Patron Saint of snow?

Snow, really? Stop already. This is ridiculous. Spring is supposed to happen in March, not Winter's sequel.

Well my first attempt driving in the snow was not so successful, though I didn't put myself in a ditch which means I wasn't a total failure. I tried to go up the usual hill I go up every morning, but started skidding right away and slid backwards a little bit. Thankfully there was no one around so I backed down the hill. When I tried to go forward in the direction of my house I again had no traction and had to go heavy on the gas before anything moved....bad noises, poor engine. So I kind of slid back into my driveway. Both of the roads I could take to get to the main hwy to get off the Island were iced over. Not good for me. Bah. Time to invest in some chains..... Is there a patron saint of snow?

trabajo

It's Jon's first day of work. Yay!

Balance? What's that?

Yes, I know it's been a long time since I've written. I think the title of this entry says it all. February was just plain nuts. March is going to start off like that, but taper down nicely in time for Holy Week.
Lent has begun. I think I'm going to try to take a personal retreat at the Abbey in March to slow my lent down and really balance my life. I've got the list of things to stay away from and the list of things I need to start doing. Apparently I'm better at depriving myself than motivating myself.

I think I'm starting to feel the groove of this youth ministry thing. We had our first retreat (though only one day) last weekend. We split up the girls and the guys for a whole day. The retreat was centered around the Cardinal virtues - Temperance, Prudence, Justice, and Fortitude. It turned out to be a really good time, and surprizingly not as exhausting as I was expecting Thanks to my two favorite Catholic Maple Ridge girls aka Donne and Kristine. We had a great time.

There was a great quote from the weekend....Ephesians 6:10-20
It's all about putting on the armor of God. Good stuff :)

It's a real blessing to be a Youth Minister. I find that God is constantly challenging me each week on what I'm teaching these teens. There's always some sort of interaction the week that I'm teaching that leads directly to practicing what I preach. Thanks God :) Always making sure I stay humble.

We're coming upon the end of our study of Theology of the Body soon. Next week is contraception and abortion and the week after is vocations. Please pray for us. As with all the topics we've covered with TOB these are highly controversial and the teens are so immersed in the world it's hard to clear the "deep yogurt" from their eyes sometimes.

As we start to fundraise for World Youth Day in Australia I'm reeling from the thought of what next year could be like. I can't believe that it's going to be March soon.

Since I've just spent the weekend hanging out with a couple ladies discerning the sisterhood, and I'm going to be doing a night on Vocations with the Middle School I was looking at vocations videos....I thought this one was cool. Enjoy. UIOGD.

Veritas

Here we go. www.stanwoodveritas.blogspot.com
It's the competition of the Young Adult Groups!

Kolkata

January is Poverty Awareness Month

Last night I taught the middle schoolers about poverty. Kolkata came up. I started looking for videos on YouTube to put on the youth group blog when I came across this. The trip to Calcutta, India changed my life. There are a few really familiar shots in this video.
1. Hotel Modern Lodge. This hostel was just off Sudder Street where most of the volunteers to the Missionaries of Charity found their lodging. It wasn't really modern, but it gave us security, a place to sleep, showers, and squat toilets. More than most have in Calcutta.

2. JoJo's restaurant. We ate at this place every day for the first two weeks (we got more adventurous after that). We ate there so much that the owner gave us t-shirts. The waiters there are cool, and they had air conditioning which was a big plus. Good prices, awesome lassis, and it was right beside the Hotel Modern Lodge.

Take a look at Calcutta. I want to go back, but next time I'll take a steroid inhaler and different Malaria medication. Darned side-effects.

Ah to be....

To be a Catholic. Thank you God.

It's fun to sometimes stop and count your blessings. I did that tonight after griping about how someone at the Archdiocesan office keeps forgetting to put me on the Youth Minister e-mail list so I find out about the important professional events super late. I stopped right afterwards and realized....Thank God I even have the Archdiocese! I began to remember a conversation I had early on in September with a Lutheran YM about how she had no structure, she didn't know what to teach, she didn't have any support from a larger organization, there was no organization, etc etc... To top it off they had just gotten a new pastor and were beginning to re-evaluate what they believed as a church and how they worshipped.

I could not imagine what it would be like to try to do this job without the structure, tradition, magisterium, and 2000 years of unchanged truth that this Church holds. Thank God for the Catholic Church. Thank you God for blessing me with this faith to begin with. Yay God! Yay Parents! Yay Catholic School teachers who did things right!

If you're Catholic, celebrate. There's a lot to be greatful for and lots of richness to share with our separated (hopefully for not too long) brethren.

Holy Days

Merry Christmas!
Happy Feast day of the Holy Family!
Happy New Year/Feast of Mary the Mother of God
and Happy Feast of the Holy Name of Jesus.
....so many awesome Holy Days packed into such a short amount of time.

Some highlights of last week....

-seeing Kia and Jacob
-seeing my Great Aunt
-having Jon come up and spend time with my family during the Holidays
-Accidentally stumbling upon the Archbishop's Mass at the Holy Rosary Cathedral for Pro-Life intentions on the feast of the Holy Innocents
-receiving the Eucharist kneeling down at Mass
-going to vespers and adoration at 11:00 on New Year's Eve
-listening to an Ave Maria/ Still Still Still remix by the awesome choir at St. Luke's at Midnight Mass
-shopping with mom
-watching Dad open his presents
-showing Jon random bits of Vancouver like Robson St. and Ikea
-having friends over for my "Party for Jesus" at my apartment

So much Joy it's hard to believe.
Speaking of Joy, I came to really enjoy something amazing today at daily Mass. I had no idea when I walked upstairs to daily mass today at work that it was the feast day of the Holy Name of Jesus. I suppose I didn't really understand what the feast day was for. But as I waited for Fr. Matthew to get ready to say Mass I read the little blurb in my Magnificat for January and it made some amazing connections in my brain very quickly. I love when that happens. It feels the same way when I do lectio divina....like the Lord is whispering something just for you and then smiling at you saying "you got it! Good!" Well maybe it will happen for you if you read it too. I might be breaking some copyright law or something....but it's okay if I attribute it to Magnificat magazine right? ....

The Lord Jesus promised, "Whatever you ask in my name, I will do" (Jn 14:13). For "the name 'Jesus' contains all... His name is the only one that contains the presence it signifies" (CCC 2666). "You have had yourselves washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Cor 6:11). For there is no "other name under heaven given to the human race by which we are to be saved" (Acts 4:12). This memorial (p.55) provides us the chance to live with special attentiveness before the Holy Name. "If you think the name 'Jesus' continually, it purges your sin and kindles your heart; it clarifies your soul, it removes anger and does away with slowness. It wounds in love and fulfills charity. It chases the devil and puts out dread. It opens heaven and makes you a contemplative. It puts all vices and phantoms out from the lover" (Richard Rolle)

This blurb in the Magnificat about the Wednesday before Epiphany had such a huge effect on me this morning. I decided after finishing it that I'd try thinking 'Jesus' over and over continuously. I think I've done it before, or continuously thought something like "Jesus Christ Son of the Living God have mercy on me a sinner", but God must have given me some extra graces this morning (Thanks for fasting Jon and E5 guys!) to help me understand some things. For some reason thinking 'Jesus' over and over magnified the readings and made things come alive this morning. It was like breathing Holy Spirit filled air or something.

As I approached in the line to receive the Eucharist I heard a friend of mine sigh a huge sigh while in line that implied a sentiment of awe and excitement to receive the Eucharist. It was almost a sigh that said in itself "incredible". At that moment I thought..."how true. It's so difficult to really believe that Jesus is that piece of bread, yet when you believe it...how amazing! How incredible that our Lord loves us that much." I was overwhelmed with this burst of faith and gratitude to Our Lord for loving us so simply, with such complexity, and with an unfailing desire for us. It brought confidence and faith to other loves that I'm greatful for and sometimes can't believe I've been graced with..... All in all a wonderful day of simple graces found merely in repeating the name that contains all. The name that contains the presence it signifies. What profound words.

That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those that are in heaven, on earth, and under the earth:And that every tongue should confess that the Lord Jesus Christ is in the glory of God the Father. - Philippians 2:10-11

Coolest thing....

The Archbishop is asking everyone to fast on Wednesdays during Advent for peace. I got a text message from one of my youth today saying "Val it's (teen name here). if ur fasting can u have bread?" !!! Yay!!! My teens are observing the fast requested by the Archbishop!! Well, at least one of them is! Ehem....these teens are so cool. Thanks for the rad job God.

Sleep patterns....

I don't know if any of you are used to experiencing sleep interruptions, but lately they seem to be coming on a lot for me. The last week or so I've been waking up at 6:30am for no reason. I can't figure it out, I mean it's not like I'm going to sleep early. Right at the beginning of the advent season I made a comment to Jon about needing to up my prayer life and getting up super early to say my morning office. I wonder if this is God's way of saying "yeah do that!"

Things are going to get really busy really quick. Two big meetings this week, an RCIA function on Wednesday, Advent dinner and guest speaker Friday, Jon's graduation on Saturday and the last life night before Christmas break on Sunday. That should be really neat. We're going to do Eucharistic Adoration and have a talk on putting Christ back into Christmas.

Yikes!
Next week is more of the same. A trip to see the Dead Sea Scrolls at the Pac. Sci., the Lights of Christmas, Parish Christmas Party, Soup Kitchen and Youth Group Christmas Party, then My Christmas Party. Crazy stuff. Going home is going to be so nice. I can't wait to go home to the parents and pretend I'm a kid that needs taking care of again. No more of this independant solitary adult stuff. Too much work.

Tomorrow is the feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, Patroness of the Americas and the Unborn.


Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us.

UIOGD.

Pie

So here's a tip, if you're baking a pie. Don't use frozen fruit. Or if you do make sure you defrost and drain as much as humanly possible, 'cuz if not your pie will come out like fruit soup with some crust bits in it. Oh the joys of trial and error. Anyone want some Strawberry Soup?

Anywhoo.....I went and saw the Nativity Story with my youth group on Friday. A definite must see for the HOLY - Days.... I echo Bryan Ochs' views on the movie. They did a really great job of building the relationship of Mary and Joseph in the movie. My favorite scene....trying to find room in Bethlehem. I did have teeny little beefs with Mary's behavior in one scene, but hey, it's Hollywood, this is as good as it's going to get right now. Let's just pray for more awesome Catholic films to come out. Personally I think they need to make a movie about Padre Pio. How cool would that be? I mean how many other people that have lived in the last century do we know that have had stigmata, bilocation, and the odor of sanctity? Wait, did he levitate too? Hmm...looks like I'm going on a tangent.

This week's topic for the high school kids.....Original Sin and Suffering. Such a cool topic. Happy 2nd week of Advent!

Fern and Bamboo

My mom forwarded this to me. Of course we biologists know that bamboo doesn't grow naturally in this biogeoclimatic zone, but just imagine you're in asia and everything should reconcile in your head. Anyways...

This is a good message for this time of year when people forget about God and sink into despair and depression.

God Bless your Advent, that it might be joyful and fruitful.

The Fern and the Bamboo

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality.... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer surprised me.
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.
The same in year four.
Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle. Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.
Don't compare yourself to others." He said.
"The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful. Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest, realizing that God will never give up on me. And He will never give up on you.

Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life.

Weirdo dream.

Okay so I had a freaky weird dream last night.
I had a dream that my computer screen blacked out and came back with a staticky interview with Satan. I kept trying to turn the computer off, but it wouldn't shut down and I couldn't get Satan off my computer screen.

Then the scene switched (my dreams are like movies) and I was standing outside of some building with my 3 best friends. Well, best friends in my dream. I have no idea who these people are, all I know is that in my dream we were good friends and they were really holy. All of a sudden Satan drove up in a really nice car. He looked really futuristic. He had a gun with him. He walked up to my friends and I and pointed the gun at my friend. We all started praying really hard, I don't think we were praying out loud, but I was praying and I knew my friends were. He pulled the trigger and the gun clicked but didn't fire. He pointed it again at another friend and it didn't fire either. He looked irritated and said "you're concentrating too hard". Then he pointed the gun at my head and smiled. I remember being terrified thinking "oh crap, what if I'm not praying hard enough". Then he pulled the trigger, but my dream ended. I don't know what happened.

Weird.
I wonder if God is trying to tell me something....

Well here's a little video to start off Advent. I'm not usually a fan of this song, but this version isn't too terrible. I just wanted an Advent video to put up. This is part of the first reading from the 1st Sunday of Advent 2006.

Oh don't forget to go to mass this Friday everyone. It's the feast of the Immaculate Conception. Yep that's Mary's conception, not Jesus'. Happy Holy Day!