Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The weekend...dun,dun,dun.....

Okay....so this weekend I get to meet the parents....the three brothers.......and some other friends of the family. Yikes!!! Actually, it should be a pretty awesome weekend starting Thursday night. My family is going to be down here for birthday dinner with Dad and my old roommie Annie and Jon are coming for dinner. Friday we're going to do some praying down at the abortion clinic as well as scope out some cars that I could possibly buy before skipping off to my friend's Muslim wedding in Oly. Saturday will be a fun filled day of amusement parks, nerve wracking family dinner's at the boyfriend's house and gameworks.
Thank God for Sunday being a day of rest.
Funny, someone made a comment on the last blog saying that my story was like "The Notebook". I have no idea what that movie was about, but I'm assuming it had some drama in it, or else it wouldn't have made a good movie. Hopefully all the drama with discernment is over. So this may turn into the most boring blog ever, but we'll see. The spiritual life shouldn't ever get boring. I guess this blog won't be so much focusing on discernment anymore 'cuz I'm pretty much done with that, but I can always seek to improve my spiritual life. Speaking of which...I need to get back into the habit of daily lectio divina and look up how to be an Oblate :) Still love those Benedictines. Ooh I just found out too that my new boss/PAFF at my parish is a Benedictine fan as well. Man, God just goes alll out sometimes. I don't get it, definately not worthy, but hecka thankful!

Monday, August 21, 2006


'How my life changed directions in the last month....condensed.

To those of you who were praying for my vocation....Thank you. Things have taken a crazy turn in the last month. So here's what really happened at St. Walburga's......

Getting there was nuts. My plane got pulled off the runway twice. We boarded the plane late and we were sitting at the gate at Seatac for around 20 minutes when I started thinking "Okay, I'm nervous as all heck, but it's going to be a great week. The only thing the devil can do now to stop me from having a great experience at St. Walburga's is break the plane." This was about 5 minutes before we started taxiing down the runway. We stopped halfway down the runway because the pilot said there was a warning light on the dash and they didn't know what it was for. At this point I'm saying to myself "No way! Stupid me, I had to go and invite him to break the plane". So we went back to the gate and waited for around 30 minutes. At this point the pilot says, "There's good news and bad news folks. The bad news is that we still don't know what's wrong with the plane. This is a new plane and it shouldn't be having any problems. It could possibly take a very long time to fix. The good news is that we're getting a new plane." Yikes. So we got off the plane, they transferred the luggage, they reassigned some seats because it was a different type of plane and we boarded again 2.5 hours after our flight was scheduled to leave.
We're sitting on the plane and at this point I'm confident that we're going to get off the ground and I'm on my way to Colorado. We started taxiing down the runway and we stopped. The pilot comes on again and says "You won't believe this folks, but we need to taxi back in. Alaska Airlines needs to do another head count. There was some sort of mixup with boarding." So we went back in. 4 hours after our original flight time we take off. Third time's a charm....or a blessing 'cuz we're Catholic. I got into Denver International at around 7 and to Fort Collins on the Shuttle just before 9pm. At this point I can't make it to the Abbey because it'd be another hour and a half drive and the sisters would be asleep. So I was fortunate enough to stay with two wonderful Benedictine oblates. David and Laura. Something really got me excited when they told me about the life of an oblate. David (aka Br. Boniface) was so cool. He's an environmental scientist :) I mean you can't get any cooler than that. A Benedictine and an environmentalist? Awesome.

I got to the Abbey the next day on Sunday and basically spent the day by myself in prayer because the sisters rest a lot on Sundays. That first day was really difficult. I kept wondering "what the heck am I doing here?" It was really strange. I had a terrible nightmare that first night too. I woke up several times only to return to the nightmare when I fell back asleep. I prayed so hard that night that God might grant me the grace to discern that week without distraction. The next morning at mass God answered my prayers. With the processional hymn that morning, I felt such a sense of peace about the week. I had a great time working with the sisters, pitching hay, collecting eggs, herding cows, cleaning etc. Practicing lectio divina was really fruitful. I loved chanting the divine office with the sisters. I didn't even mind getting up at 4:20 in the morning. The whole time at St. Walburga's was peaceful...but in some way not completely fulfilling. I kept on thinking to myself, "I could do this. I could enter and just learn to be at peace with this for the rest of my life....but I don't know that I would really be fulfilled. There's something missing." I wasn't really sure what that was. I had a few ideas....but I wasn't completely sure. So I prayed, and I prayed, and prayed some more. God started showing me some things. He kept on bringing someone into my prayers and showing me passages of scripture that would only remind me of one person. My best friend Jon.
When I got back, I told Jon everything that happened that week while we were in the car on the way back up from Seatac. I told him I was really confused and that I wanted to speak to my spiritual director about everything. He said he didn't want to say anything to me until I had spoken to my spiritual director. So I went to my spiritual director the day after I got back and he suggested that I take some time away from Jon and discern this friendship. So I took some time away, after 2 weeks I didn't really have any doubts and what I was hearing in prayer was pretty clear.....

Jon and I talked and ended up starting our relationship in front of the Blessed Sacrament on July 28th. I can't believe what the Lord has done. This relationship is so amazing, and the best part is that it's Christ centered. I'm constantly in awe of God since my relationship with Jon started and I feel like I'm being drawn closer to Christ constantly because of it. It's really like that "Be Satisfied" thing that St. Anthony wrote. When you tell God you're ready to do whatever he asks, He blesses you with happiness you could never have imagined.