A week full of goodbyes and see you laters.....

This has been a funny week. It started off with a send off from St. Luke's and a social down in the youth room. Monday I went to a rosary prayer service with the monastic life girls. On Tuesday we trekked it out to the Abbey to see Fr. Abbot before I took off. Wendesday....what the heck did I do on Wednesday? Nothing I think. Thursday was my last day babysitting my cutie niece. Friday I spent the entire day with D. photocopying all my music and teaching mass parts and various songs for Sunday and then went to a Sayonara Party for our Japanese exchange student and then chatted with my seminarian friend on Google Talk for a good long time about college memories. Didn't like getting up early this morning after that long talk! Today has been a really neat day so far. It's the Solemnity of the Annunciation, it's my sister's wedding anniversary, they had their house blessed today, and I just recently found out that I'm getting kidnapped by my monastic-life retreat girls for mass and coffee or something afterwards. Then I'll most likely be dropped off at home a few minutes before my boys come to pick me up to leave for the United States again. Full, full, full. I did learn another neat fact today from Fr. Craig Scott (the priest who blessed my sis' house). Because it's a Solemnity today, you treat it like a Sunday. So you're not bound to your lenten committments today because of the

celebratory nature of the day! Good day to get your house blessed and get married guys. Man I'm going to miss being part of this diocese. You should realize how blessed you are to have priests this good and activities this solid. The Church in Vancouver is blessed with so much grace and strength. Take advantage of it for me! Pray for Seattle!!!

I know I'm not going to see many of you for a little while so know that you'll be missed. To J.J. if I end up not coming next week, I'll see you in Northern Colorado or back in the guest cottage :) And if not there, then whenever I get off my butt and see the other side of the country. Au revoir, sayonara, adios, auf wiedersehen, arrivederci, adeus, and goodbye.....nah. See you later. Oh, and I'll still be blogging. So really, it's like I'll be there with you guys anyways.

Love and God's will.

More worthwhile things to ponder.

"No man is so free as he who is able to renounce his own will and do the will of God."
-Unknown

"The person who does not decide to love forever will find it very difficult to really love for even one day."
-Pope John Paul II

"So then, my beloved, obediant as you have always been, not only when I am present but all the more when I am absent, work out your salvation with fear and trembling. For God is the one who, for his good purpose works in you both to desire and to work."
-Philippians 2:12
I found this one randomly when I asked God to show me something about my vocation a month or two ago.

"But do not be afraid, for she was set apart for you before the world existed. You will save her and she will go with you."
-Tobit 6:18
Upon first hearing this, I thought of it in the context of earthly marriage, because that's what the story is about. But when you think of it like Supernatural marriage to Christ it becomes so much richer.

internal conflict....

Okay time to get down to business. What the heck is it like to be married to Jesus? To have the greatest romance humanity could ever imagine as a sister, as a nun? I need to do a Come and See with sisters...

To all my girls thinking about boys...

Here's a something you'd enjoy. It really brings "finding that certain someone" into new perspective.

Be Satisfied with me

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But to a Christian, God says, "No, not until you are satisfied,
fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone,
with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me alone.

Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found
will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that
I have planned for you.

You will never be united to another
until you are united with Me,
exclusive of anyone or anything else;
exclusive of any other desires or longing.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you
the most thrilling plan existing...one that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best!

Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest thing.
Keep experienceing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that's all.

Don't be anxious, don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have gotten
or that I have given them.
Don't look around at the things you think you want.
Just keep looking off and away up to Me
or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you are ready, I will surprize you with a love
far more wonderful than you could ever dream.

You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you
is ready, I am working even at this moment to have both
of you ready at the same time,
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have
prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies
your relationship with Me.
And this is perfect love.

And dear one,
I want you to have this most perfect love.
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me,
and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of
beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
For I am God.
Believe it, and be satisfied."

I was told that was written by St. Anthony

Just remember ladies.....you can't see the one God's pointing out unless you're looking at God.

Fragrance Prayer

While in Calcutta I prayed this with the Missionaries of Charity every morning after mass to start my day. It's a wonderful way to remember and realize that you are a witness to Christ. It's wonderfully humbling and reminds you that you serve and live for His glory, and to constantly allow him to shine in you. Great for morning offering!


Dear Jesus, help us to spread Your fragrance everywhere we go.
Flood our souls with Your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess our whole being so utterly,
That our lives may only be a radiance of Yours.
Shine through us, and be so in us,
That every soul we come in contact with may feel Your presence in our soul.
Let them look up and see no longer us, but only Jesus!
Stay with us, and then we shall begin to shine as You shine;
So to shine as to be a light to others.
The light O Jesus will be all from You, none of it will be ours;
It will be You shining on others through us.
Let us thus praise You in the way you love best, not by words but by our example.
By the catching force, the sympathetic influence of the love that comes from You. Amen.

A reflection...

So I went back up to the Abbey today. Gosh I love that place. It was the Solemnity of St. Benedict so we got to have bendiction and sing special stuff for vespers. It was neat to see Fr. Abbot in his Abbot-wear. Hat, meiter, the works. He looked like a bishop, but I think that's the way Benedictine Abbeys are. Something about stability to their abbey. In any case. After vespers K, D, and I got to hang out with Fr. Abbot a bit. He blessed my large Benedictine crucifix and gave us all bits from his morning reflections. He picked out parts from what he was reading and gave them to us on cards. They're from the letters of St. Benedict. This was mine from Letter 309

"everything lies in the intention: how we can sanctify the smallest things, transform the most ordinary actions of life into divine actions! A soul who lives in union with God does nothing that is not supernatural, and the most common actions, instead of separating her from Him, on the contrary draw her even nearer. Let us live like that..."

I don't really understand my excitement. It's like I'm on a Benedictine high or something. I just can't get enough of it. I don't know if it's that place, or if its the order and life itself. I hope I'm not just being naive and young. We'll see how it goes. Something is definately drawing me.

Mary the Dawn

Chant.

Mary the Dawn, Christ the Perfect Day;

Mary the Gate, Christ the Heav'nly Way!

Mary the Root, Christ the Mystic Vine;

Mary the Grape, Christ the Sacred Wine!

Mary the Wheat Sheaf, Christ the Living Bread;

Mary the Rose Tree, Christ the Rose, blood-red!

Mary the Font, Christ the Cleansing Flood;

Mary the Chalice, Christ the Saving Blood!

Mary the Temple, Christ the Temple's Lord;

Mary the Shrine, Christ the God adored!

Mary the Beacon, Christ the Haven's Rest;

Mary the Mirror, Christ the Vision Blest!

Mary the Mother, Christ the Mother's Son.

Both ever blest while endless ages run. Amen.

Text by Justin Mulcahy, 1894-1981, under the pseudonym "Paul Cross." Adaptaion of Gregorian Mode IV.

Autograph?

So this is kinda interesting. I have a website up with some of my music on it. One day this random guy from California found it and said he really liked my music. So he offered in exchange for my autograph (ha ha me?) a wonderful program called Adobe Audition. I got the program tonight and fiddled with some of my music. This is so crazy. Listen to this. It's called "He Leads Me". Hopefully it loaded properly. It says it could possibly take 24 hours to process to myspace, so if it's not 24 hours since the post date of this blog, you've gotta wait for it.

Oh Yeah, for my parish friends...

To F.M. dlP and K.A. Here are those nuggets of wisdom you wanted.

1. When preparing for an exam "Study like it's all up to you, take it like it's all up to God."
-Mike Mauss? or Frosty Peterson

2. "C's get degrees." Remember, this is best used as an afterthought and not as a goal!

3. "You can always retake a class, but you can never relive a weekend."
-Mark Desmet (friend from Campus Ministry).

Hope that helps! Higher Education is a good thing, as are many things, but only if it's in God's plans for you.

And don't forget ladies, Abbots are the head honchos of Abbeys :)

My Last Night

So tonight was my last night directing the youth choir at my parish. Sad beans. I had a good run for the 4 months I was directing. Now it's off to the new job far away. Well not that far, but far enough. I'm so amazed at the grace that's coming out of that parish. In a few weeks they're having this huge program called "Stay Awake for Life" where tons of youth get sponsored to stay up all night so they can raise money for the Pro-Life society of the area. Just amazing. When parishes have perpetual adoration going on you can tell. It seems like an innopurtune time to be leaving, but I guess I'm being called away on other business. Hopefully I'll be able to make it back for some visits :) But for now, goodbye parish and my youth choir. I'm sure gonna miss you guys.

okay there are some kickers....

Evidently, eros needs to be disciplined and purified if it is to provide not just fleeting pleasure, but a certain foretaste of the pinnacle of our existence, of that beatitude for which our whole being yearns.

True, eros tends to rise “in ecstasy” towards the Divine, to lead us beyond ourselves; yet for this very reason it calls for a path of ascent, renunciation, purification and healing.

Love is indeed “ecstasy”, not in the sense of a moment of intoxication, but rather as a journey, an ongoing exodus out of the closed inward-looking self towards its liberation through self-giving, and thus towards authentic self-discovery and indeed the discovery of God: “Whoever seeks to gain his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will preserve it” (Lk 17:33), as Jesus says throughout the Gospels (cf. Mt 10:39; 16:25; Mk 8:35; Lk 9:24; Jn 12:25).

Anyone who wishes to give love must also receive love as a gift. Certainly, as the Lord tells us, one can become a source from which rivers of living water flow (cf. Jn 7:37-38). Yet to become such a source, one must constantly drink anew from the original source, which is Jesus Christ, from whose pierced heart flows the love of God (cf. Jn 19:34).
--this reminds me of one of my favorite books. Soul of the Apostolate. Where it describes contemplation and union with Christ as the way to "drink anew" so that you might fill yourself up to give to others.

Okay this is ridiculous, you guys can read it for yourself. Have fun!

Deus Caritas Est

So I opened up this new blog window intending to put down some quotes that really "popped" for me from "Deus Caritas Est", but as I read on I see that's impossible. I would have to put the entire encyclical down. Not that I doubted the Holy Father in the least, but the richness of this document completely surprizes me. It further illustrates what an amazing choice he was for the Pope to come after John Paul II. Wow, this is awesome. I'm going to keep reading. You can find the encyclical here if you want to read it yourself. You really should, everyone should. I can't believe I'm only reading this now! What the heck was I thinking to leave it unread for this long? Way to go Pope Benedict XVI.
More comments to come as I go along....

Three Teresas and a Clare.

"I will wait for as long as you wish. It's just that I do not want our union to be delayed through any fault of mine. Meanwhile, I am going to do my best to make myself a beautiful wedding dress, all studded with jewels. I am sure, my Beloved, that when you consider it sufficiently adorned, no one will be able to prevent you from coming down and uniting me to you forever."

St. Therese of Lisieux
"St. Therese by those who knew her"


When Jesus told her, "Teresa, that's how I treat my friends" Teresa responded, "No wonder you have so few friends."
"But what do I know. I'm just a wretched woman."
Sometimes her whole body was raised from the ground. If she felt God was going to levitate her body, she stretched out on the floor and called the nuns to sit on her and hold her down.

-St. Teresa of Avila
http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=208


"Many people mistake our work for our vocation. Our vocation is the love of Jesus."
"The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion because if a mother can kill her own child, what is left for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between."
"Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness."
"Today it is very fashionable to talk about the poor.
Unfortunately, it is not fashionable to talk with them."

Bl. Mother Teresa of Calcutta


An army of rough soldiers came to attack Assisi and they planned to raid the convent first. Although very sick, St. Clare had herself carried to the wall and right there, where the enemies could see it, she had the Blessed Sacrament placed. Then on her knees, she begged God to save the Sisters. "O Lord, protect these Sisters whom I cannot protect now," she prayed. A voice seemed to answer: "I will keep them always in My care."
"Totally love Him who gave Himself over totally for love of you."
"Ever since I have known the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ no suffering has been bothersome, no penance too severe, no infirmity has been hard."

St. Clare of Assisi
http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=215

Compline for the 14th

This was from yesterday's Compline. It gave me shivers.
-------------------------------

Reading	1 Peter 5:8-9
Be calm and keep watch. The Devil, your enemy, is circling you like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, strong in faith.

-------------------------------

Those of you who know me, know what I'm talking about.
St. Michael the Archangel...pray for us.

I was talking to my friend the other day about the spiritual battle going on. It's interesting to think about and to analyze. While I was hanging out with the Benedictines one of the monks was talking to us about St. Bernadette and that when she came to the grotto there were demons crawling around everywhere, but that at the appearance of Mary they ran frightened. It's so true. The Blessed Mother in every way frightens evil. So call to Jesus and to her if you need help in that area. We also spoke about things like the movie "The Exorcism of Emily Rose". This question came up...Can Satan be in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament?

Then I found this from the account "Begone Satan"

"One may ask: Does Satan dare at all to remain in the presence of the All Holy? How can he endure it? Does he not run off like a whipped cur? All we need to remember is that Satan dared to approach our Lord fasting in the desert. He even dared to take the Saviour upon a high pinnacle at Jerusalem; and again he carried Him up on a high mountain-top. If he showed himself so powerful then, he has not changed since. "

Discerning Men

Hey for all you men discerning out there...here's an awesome
video to check out. It's from the Benedictine Abbey around here.
Yes I'm definately on a Benedictine kick. It must have been from Fr. Abbot saying that when you become a religious you become a prophet for what's to come. You are a living witness to how humanity is ultimately supposed to join with Christ. Aah, I can't get those words out of my head. You become a living witness and a prophet.......how cool is that? Living out humanity's vocation? Wow, contemplatives are awesome.

The closest Benedictine Abbey for ladies is the Abbey of St. Walburga in Northern Colorado. Sounds really cool. I definately want to go check that out.

Universal prayers

I discovered the beauty of the Liturgy of the Hours not too long ago, but I don't have a brievary yet. Here's an awesome site that I've been using that's got a few of the daily prayers online. Check it out. Liturgy of the Hours It's great to know that you're taking part in a universal aspect of the Church. It's even better when you have people to chant with.

Giving in to prodding.

Well this should be interesting. I've been doing the whole MySpace thing for a while and blogging on that, but a friend of mine aka Tomfoolery of a Seminarian has been telling me that MySpace bites and that the "Blogosphere" is the place to be. So I'm going to try it out. I guess it's time to admit that I'm an internet junkie and I might as well just give in to the craziness of blogging. But....this is just a trial for kicks.

If you're wondering what the heck "domine ut videam" means, it's latin for "Lord that I may see". I've recently recieved a swift kick in the pants at a vocation type retreat and am on a latin and gregorian chant kick. Part of the reason I thought this blog thing might be nice is now I can share all my vocations findings with people that might possibly be interested. So that's it. I'm a young Catholic woman asking the Lord for insight and hoping that all I do will glorify the Lord. Ut in omnibus glorificetur Deus.