Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Sweet Renewal



7:30 am This morning I took the Train into downtown with mom.

8:15 ish Got off of the skytrain a stop after her. She went off to work. I went to Starbucks on Granville and I got a tall soy tazo chai latte and sat down to eat my chunk of Putinka for breakfast. Finished the putinka. Got up, still listening to my mp3 player with chai in hand and started towards the Cathedral. Finished the Chai right before I got to the door of the HRC and went inside. There were no trash cans inside the Cathedral foyer. Left the Cathedral walked half a block back in the direction I came from and finally found a trash can in front of Seattle's Best Coffee, which (fyi) is owned by Starbucks. Turned myself around once again and walked back to the Cathedral.

8:40ish Sit down in the Cathedral with a sigh of relief. Sanctuary, home, safety, loving arms. The old people in there were doing lauds. I plucked out my breivary to join them, then decided I'd better start out from the beginning properly and silently on my own than just jumping in the middle without the invitatory. Finished lauds and sat for a while. My heart has been a little achy for the past few days. My soul has been uneasy. I went to confession on Sunday, but it was after mass. I was particularly vulnerable .....the time between confession and your next mass....the perfect opportunity to screw up so that you'd have to refrain from receiving incredible amounts of grace.....the Eucharist and a spotless soul, perfect match, someone never wants that perfect match to be realized.

I sat for a while just allowing myself to be in the presence of the Lord. It has been a long time since I've allowed myself that joy. Nothing going on, just sitting and being with him. Not thinking, just opening up myself and being totally vulnerable to His love. I started my first 5 decades and St. Bridgets. So much more fruitful in His presence. I prayed so much for Him to heal my heart today. For Him to take it, battered and overexposed as I've let it become, and make it new again. To heal it, to mend it, to encase it in a walls of thorns like his heart. To just join it to His so that He could keep it protected because I was doing a terrible job of it myself. I felt such renewal at the end of that rosary today, just sitting with Him and asking Him to make me new. To fix me.

I got to the Cathedral 2 hours early. Perfect time to pick spots, right behind the priests and the people who work at the Chancery, in the center aisle. Perfect.

10:30 Mass of Chrism begins. Incense and over a hundred white garments pour in. Pipe organ and faithful voices mix through the air. Heavenly sounds, smells, and sight. Every priest in the archdiocese. Every hand that brings Christ to us, under one roof.
Lift High the Cross.
Latin Gloria.
Some man in the back begins to yell "Why is Jesus covered? Why have you covered him? Who do you think you are?" Cathedral ushers move to the back. "You Calm down, don't tell me to calm down. Why is he covered? Where is he?" Sounds like a struggle. "Who do you confess your sins to? Priests cannot forgive your sins! Only God can forgive your sins!!!" We continue singing .....bonae voluntatis......the shouting fades and peace is restored. Poor soul. He doesn't know about the mysticism and beauty of Christ's Church. Someone needs to utter those two words to help him understand.....Persona Christi....that's it. Rest your mind, it is not humans, but God working through us, using us.
Isaiah 61:1-9
Forever I will sing the goodness of the Lord. Beautiful four part harmony acapella for the psalm.
Revelation 1:4-8
Praise to you, Lord, King of eternal glory.
Luke 4:16-21
Today the prophecy has been fulfilled.

The archbishop did a wonderful job with his homily. Validated the priesthood and the joy it brings, emphasized being called and anointed, empowered the laity in the universal priesthood, and said he was proud to be the archbishop of such a fine group of priests. Amen. Thank God for the Vancouver Archdiocese. Blessing of the oils.

O Redeemer
Salve Mater Misericordiae (chant)
Ave Verum
Chacone in d minor
Ubi Caritas (Chant)
Salve Regina

To Jesus Christ, Our Sovereign King

12:00 Walking back to my mom's office for lunch was a bit surreal. Sometimes the streets of downtown Vancouver do that to me. More so after this mass. It felt like I had this beam of light bouncing my soul around inside my body so that I had to focus to keep myself walking straight. I found it difficult to not smile ridiculously while walking swiftly and with focus down Georgia St. I had a certain stride, and for those of you who know limpy Val with the 1cm shorter leg that's saying a lot. Strong Stride, Christ making His way into my bloodstream, Sun beaming down, making my way down Georgia Street. Ah sweet renewal, just in time for Holy Week. Thanks for our date Jesus.

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